Ellie Boland: A Pet Loss Story

The following pet loss story was sent to DoveLeewis Pet Loss Support Director Enid Traisman from Mary Beth Boland. Please feel free to submit your own pet loss story here.

Ellie Boland
May 3, 2002 - November 15, 2014

My best friend is gone. Although I’ve known for a very long time this day would come, these are some of the hardest words I’ve ever had to write.

 

Ellie was a birthday gift. I was working in a pet store, back before most people knew how bad that was. She arrived on a truck with a bunch of other puppies from Missouri. She was sick and she was terrified and my boss nearly sent her back but for some reason I convinced him that we could make her better and sell her. I syringe fed and medicated her for weeks and any time someone asked about her I’d say something like “You don’t want that one, it’s sick”. That excuse only lasted so long and the day someone else nearly bought her I just about threw up. I begged my parents for her. Of course they thought it was a terrible idea. I was a teenager living in a punk house and going to college. But the day before my 19th birthday she came home with me. And today is the first time in my adult life that I don’t have her.

 

Every dog is special. But then there are those once in a lifetime dogs. The ones that can read your mind. The ones that get inside of you and sneakily put a piece of them where a piece of you used to be. That’s Ellie. She’s been with me through births and deaths. Break ups. Dropping out of college and making a compete life change with my career path. She never said a word but managed to be the best therapist and support system I could have.

 

Earlier this week it was like a light bulb started to flicker. She was still walking, eating, drinking… but she wasn’t there. Occasionally something in her brain would click back and my dog would be there for a bit but those times were getting fewer and further between. I always told her I would never keep her going for myself and although she in no way seemed in pain or uncomfortable or unhappy I don’t feel like she had the capability to feel anything anymore.

 

I am absolutely devastated. But I will be ok. Ellie lived through so many things and met so many people. She’s the only dog I know who had a birthday party with tons of punk kids in formal wear. She’s been on so many trips all over the place with me. She had her 10th birthday party in a rented hall and I think more people came to that than came to my 30th the next year. She won a trip to Portland and got to be a tv star. She kicked cancer’s ass, in multiple forms, for years longer than anyone thought she would. And she did it while being adorable and not saying a word.

 

I know a lot of people are going to be sad about Ellie dying as well. I know you all know my thoughts on the afterlife and on cutesy stuff like the Rainbow Bridge. I’m usually so good with end of life stuff and hospice in animals so it’s hard to be the mess that I am. So instead of being sad or sorry I ask that you tell me something you loved about Ellie, or a funny story about her. And if you never met her, that’s ok too. You’re allowed to just be sad. It’s ok to just be sad. I’m going to be for a very long time.

Mary Beth

Dear Mary Beth,
Thank you for sharing your beautiful story. I imagined each different stage of her life that you described and smiled knowingly that she was a very special girl who was raised and cared for by an equally special young woman. I admire your ability to tell your story and assure people that although you are heartbroken, you don’t need fixing, you need support to go through your grief as you navigate your days without your sweet Ellie. My wish for you as that you receive an abundance of support and always celebrate the years you and Ellie shared.
Warmly,
Enid