Woogie: A pet loss story

The following pet loss story was sent to DoveLewis Pet Loss Support Director Enid Traisman from Gary Ogan. Please feel free to submit your own pet loss story here.

I was allergic to cats my whole life, until Woogie’s mom came along. Born under my piano on Easter morning 1990, Woogie and I had each other for 20 years. Eight different times he relocated with us, two of those moves cross-country with two cars and six days on the road. Woogie had a full life, and never suffered anything too serious in terms of health issues, sickness, or injury ... until the end. Just days before my wife was to leave for a week, our vet asked that we read up on a condition in Woogie’s future: acute renal failure. I did the homework and my world fell down. I had planned to do some writing that week but suddenly the work had focus. It was a glorious early spring week. I knew the time was a gift, and I went to the piano. I thought how perfect if the last project Woogie heard me work on was a tribute to him.

 

As it turned out Woogs lasted only another five months, although at the time he seemed fine. I still saw him chasing his brothers across the backyard, still nimbly jaunting up and down our two sets of stairs, still grooming himself — to my endless delight. He was still top cat. When I had finished demoing seven songs, using the seven keys I depend on most for writing, a strange thing happened. I looked at Woogs, and it seemed I could read his mind. “Look dad, you’re on a nice roll here. I appreciate what you’re doing, but if you’re going to continue with this ‘tribute’ thing, you should write in keys you never write in. You should get something out of this too! You should stretch yourself! You’ll thank me later.” I realized he was right and returned to writing in uncharted keys. The value of the exercise amazed me, and once the emotional trip was over I realized I had created my own 12-step program for grieving pet owners (12 songs in 12 keys), all smothered in grief as I sobbed through the writing of each one. Tough gig.

 

It wasn’t long before I could see Woogs growing ever so slowly thinner. He found it harder to keep his balance, was less eager to jump on the bed, and his beautiful coat started to lose its sheen. His morning walks around the backyard became more poignant. We finally put the cat stairs next to our bed, and he began to use them. Whatever he was called upon to endure, he did with perfect grace. The last few times he came to jump on my lap as I worked at my desk I knew were my last times I would hold him close and bestow the love. I will always remember his last efforts to be close to me, how profound the sense of mutual intent. Now suddenly I get the last verse of Mr. Bogangles. If I’m still kickin’ 20 years from now, the grief will be as accessible as it is today.

 

At some point in Woogie’s adolescence, we had started using the Flipper TV theme song to call him in for the evening. My wife and I would step onto the patio and sing at the top of our lungs, “They call him Woogie, Woogie, faster than lightning!”, and he always came running, faster than lightning. Now I made a point of singing this to him, very quietly, over the last few days of his life. I wanted to ring the bell of his memory and let him know that he would always be my beautiful boy, always “faster than lightning.” Over the window of time that was Woogie’s last five months, my heart found a serious new way of breaking. So of course I made sure to give it a voice through this music.

 

August 26th, I watched Woogs struggle through his morning rounds in the backyard, like he knew he was saying goodbye to his home. It was a profound thing to watch, as he faltered several times, and had to lie down to rest on a steep hill. He lay there for a good spell, his tummy on the cool dirt, gazing across his backyard, sniffing the air, listening to the birds singing, and watching his brother Philip make the rest of the trip by himself for the first time. Philip had always followed a respectful distance behind Woogie on the backyard trek. It was a longstanding, two-cat ceremony that involved covering the edges of our fenced boundary. Woogie said goodbye to our backyard that morning.

 

August 27th, time was up for my champ. He had endured enough and I had to act. He had always been the perfect patient and gentleman at the vet’s. On his last visit he put his head down one last time as we said our goodbyes.

 

When people found out Woogie was gone, most had a similar response. “You always think they’re going to live forever, you never think you’ll lose them.” On the contrary, I began having emotional spells over Woogie’s mortality years before I had any reason to. I never thought he would die a skinny cat, but over his last months of his life my heart found a new way of breaking. I know it must have been really tough on the little guy. Whatever it was he was being called upon to endure, he did so as perfectly and gracefully as everything he ever did. This tribute in song that came to me one week in March, 2010, is nothing much more than “a burst of music for a wonderful cat. Simple as that”. You can stream the record here; http://www.garyogan.com/blog, where you will also find all the lyrics. For now it looks like I’ll be able to squeeze in the first four songs here. ... Gary

 

SONG FOR WOOGIE

up above the clouds it seems we’re flyin’
can’t imagine anywhere i’d rather be
alone in a world of you and me
just like it started, that’s how it’s gonna be

 

so let’s open up the doors to apple-blossoms
see what mama nature’s got today
and we’ll see the world our way

 

so come on up and show me around
i know you know your way around this town
i’m in the wings for you
i’m on the mid-night crew
so come on up and show me around

 

you can have it all just like you want it
we’ll make it look like it has to be, cause it has to be
you call the shots, then you count on me

 

so come round, lay down the word
that powerful, wonderful word
and i’ll sing along with you
i want to hear it now, do it like you do

 

now i know that life don’t get much sweeter
than to move on down that line with a cat like you
show me the window and i’ll jump through

 

come round, show me the light
that beautiful, wonderful light
and i’ll make it shine on through
for the magic years i had with you

 

come round, lay down the word
that powerful, wonderful word
and i’ll sing along with you
i want to hear it now, do it like you do

 

come on up and show me around
i know you know your way around this town
i’m in the wings for you
i’m on the mid-night crew

so come on up and show me around

 

KNUCKLEHEAD
wish i knew what goes on in that little knucklehead
i can guess, i can try lookin’ under your bed
but it’s a game you play with me, i know it’s true

 

so off you go on your day, leave me hangin’ by a thread
hope it’s cool, hope you’re down with everything that we said
don’t be late, don’t make me fret ...
over you, sweet child of mine
cause you know i do, sweet child of mine

 

it’s a song in ‘b’, ‘b’ for boy, boy you really did me in
never once had to try to make it under my skin
there you’ve stayed where i know you’ve paid some dues

 

but life is good, yeah we’re cool my little knucklehead
maybe god broke a rule when he gave you me instead
‘cause here we are, and i’m still gone
for you, sweet child of mine
i love you, sweet child of mine
yes i really do

 

wish i knew, had a clue what you’re thinkin’ in that head
what goes on all day long in that little knuklehead?

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY - HAPPY NEW YEAR
i only want to be the same old company
that you had with your dad in our first pad
couldn’t be any more sincere
happy birthday - happy new year

 

i won’t deny the truth because it’s right in front of you
i’ve been a fan from day one tried and true
so we’ll raise a glass and we’ll toast my dear
happy birthday - happy new year

 

and as the writer of this song
i feel you are among the lucky few
i’ll break the rules for when i say
and come hell or high water
that’s the way it’s gonna stay

 

so we’ll celebrate the two, it’s the least we can do
as the time flies much faster for you
and with the message that’s loud and clear
happy birthday - happy new year
happy birthday - happy new year
have a birthday - have a new year

 

LOOK AT YOU
how many times have i saved you from fallin’
in a bad dream that was sweeping you away?
call it your destiny, i call it mine
some things just find a way to find a way
through space and time

 

yes i’m the guy that steps up when you need me
i can be there in the blink of an eye
and all for the notion that i matter to you
i’ll just have to meditate and radiate the truth

 

look at you, casually stealing my heart
pushing the limits of what tears me apart

 

i’ll get the dinner, you take the tab
time to get home to feed the cats

 

so one more time let it be as forever
nothin’ better, got it all right here today
smiles in the sunshine and love on the wing
i just want to open up my heart and sing

 

look at you, touching me deep in my soul
i don’t want to lose you but i know you’ve got to go

 

but how many times have i saved you from fallin’?